Archive for the ‘Canada’ Category

Canada: The Comedy

Posted: September 17, 2010 in Canada, Social Critique

With every passing day here in Canada, I realize that this place isn’t just imperfect, but flawed beyond repair.  My hope that this post will be a first in a series of harsh criticisms.  May God help me . . . and help you too, you’ll be on the receiving end after all.

As some of you might already know, I am a stanch America sympathizer, Canadian by neutralization, and Egyptian by birth.  My life revolves around much travelling, mostly between Canada, Egypt and the US.  I was always critical of governance practices in Canada, but now, it is not just governance that I have a beef with, its the people, the culture(s), the vibe.

Perhaps some might think that I do not have the right to critisize, after all I am originally from a country that just declared Jihad on its Christian minority, the Copts.  There is no remorse here ladies and gentlemen, I refuse to compare to what is less, only to what is more.

It is hard to nail down when exactly my eyes were opened to the real Canada, I believe a series of events during this summer that made me realize that I am yet another victim of this fake image Canadians propel to the rest of the world about their country.  Hence I am forced to write this post.  Below is the series of events that will help me relay the message across, but before I get to this, here is the message:

“English-speaking Canada is not much different than the United States, as much as Canadians try to convince you otherwise, they are lying.  French speaking Canada, is not Canada, its part of Europe. Period.  Canadians are not as nice as they seam, their healthcare is not federal, and it is some what of a failure.  Canadians suffer from an inferiority complex and struggle with a major identity crisis”

Now let me explain . . .

Tequila & Politics

This event was mentioned in a post by a fellow Toronto-based blogger, Assem Memon.  In his own words he describes what he saw “At #LoserKaraoke . . . it was all fine and dandy until we stepped out around midnight for some fresh air and noticed a heated argument.  Both the curiosity and our Egypt-iness (sic) resulted in our distant involvement. Put simply, [five] drunk guys where picking on and mocking a homeless woman . . . people stepped in and picked sides and discussions started”

While I don’t agree with analysis or his interpretation of what he saw, he does make good points.  What he fails to mention in his post is that the those five individuals were frustrated, conservative, upper-class Canadians, who were conveying their frustration with some of Canada’s socialist programs in the worst way they could.

Regardless, this opened my eye to one big fat Canadian lie.  There are Neo-Cons in Canada as well, and in a sizable number.  There are anti-taxation rallies, and the whole nine. So please Canadians, don’t call conservative Americans stupid, kindly, tend to your own tea-baggers 🙂

The Canadian Experience, what ever the hell that is

This conversation went on for tens of minutes, then there was the fuse.

Insurance Sales Person: “Excuse me sir, but you do not have Canadian-Experience” …

The Strict Machine: “Well listen buddy, I indeed do not have Canadian-Experience, but guess what, I have American-Experience, and I hate to break it to ya, and burst your bubble, but that sure as hell trumps your Canadian-Experience . . . What the hell is this Canadian-Experince everyone keeps talking about anyways? Are you talking about the magical Irish leprechauns that keep chasing the gold pots at the end of the damn rainbows all over Toronto?  Because you can see these mother fuckers anywhere, you just have to do the right kind of shrooms. You fuck!”

Canadian hatred – America is evil, we must hate it

It is an ignored fact that most Canadians live close to their American neighbors, while the reverse isn’t true.  It is also a fact that Canada’s population is literally one tenth of America’s.  Another forgotten fact is that America was established by independence seekers while, loyalists to the crown ran up north to what now is Canada.

Canadian animosity towards the United States is comparable to parts of the Middle East, except in the case of Canada it is worse, simply because Canadians are in denial of  their “second-best” status that comes along with it. At least in the Middle East, people go burning American flags in the morning and by night they loath their pittful lives as they apply for the Green Card lotto online.

The Canadian Identity’s essence is the following statement “Not American”

“Unlike America, we are . . .” (Insert what ever pillow fluffing argument)

“We don’t care about America . . . It means nothing to us”

“We hate America”

And much much more to come . . .