Archive for the ‘Guest Post’ Category

By Portia B.

This is one of my favorite posts I read over the past two years.  Its witty, its true, and it never gets old.  When I first read this I immediately fell in love with the writer. Clearly, I thought, she knows her women . . .

The women you date may come in different shapes and sizes; hail from different parts of the nation, even the world. But when you’re spending some one-on-one time with her, you want to know the real deal. After all the dinner dates and few casual encounters, who is she truly? Will the both of you make it? I’ve classified all women into a sweeping generalization of nine distinct categories. Chances are you can find your lady amongst one of these and eventually figure out if you should linger or leave.

The I’m-A-Lot-Smarter-Than-I-Look Chick

[katherine_heigl_1.jpg]This girl looks like a scene-queen, dresses from Paris or maybe dresses like Paris. She’ll hang out till 4 am, laugh at stupid jokes and be very up to par on shows you could care less about, like The Hills. Looks can be deceiving; underneath this mask is a wickedly smart lady. Book smart, street smart, money smart, you name the topic and she’ll make Wikipedia seem uninformed. She hides her intelligence as a way of social adaptation, and to not intimidate men who scare easily. The good to dating her is that, like a chameleon, she can fit in anywhere. She can hold her own conversation at a corporate dinner party, or play beer pong in your mother’s basement.  She’s probably the one you should marry, but you’re not smart enough to recognize it at the time, so you decide to date…

The I-Used-To-Be-Ugly-and-Now-I’m-Hot Chick

[be-ugly-beatty-shirt.jpg]She’s smokin’ hot. You feel the urge to drool. You often wonder how you got her. In fact, you think you’re not worthy. Until one day you see an old picture of her and cringe. How could that be the same person? Rest assured, she hasn’t had 10 surgeries in one day (unless you’re dating Heidi Montag). She’s beyond the days of AquaNet and braces, and transformed into a true swan.  So don’t concern yourself over what she looked like in 10th grade. Chances are you had a case of acne or poor hair grooming decisions. The upside to dating her is you’re incredibly attracted to her. The downside to dating her is that she might be insecure over who she was, and might overcompensate by being very showy, or constantly seek validation.

The My-Ex-Boyfriend-Was-a-Cheater-So-You-Must-Be Chick

[halle_berry_9.jpg]So she’s slightly jaded from the former jerk that cheated on her. She thought she was over it, did her little song-and-dance with her girlfriends about how men are Satan. Eventually she tired and realized she missed dating and loved men. Enter: you. Be wary if you’re the first guy she dates after the cheater, she will be disgustingly suspicious. Who can blame her? Being betrayed sucks, and our natural instincts work towards self-preservation. She wants to make sure it never happens again. Still, you shouldn’t have to be a scapegoat for someone else’s blunder. Be sincere with her and we regret to have to say this to you, but just in case it hadn’t occurred to you, do not cheat on her. Not unless you plan on recruiting members to the man-hating society. The pro of dating her is that she’ll be super loyal. The golden rule typically plays here. The con to dating her is that she might misdirect her revenge and cheat on you. If she doesn’t do that, she might be quick to place blame and look at you with squinting eyes when you tell her you were out late with the boys. Be prepared to have an alibi.

The-I’m-One-of-the-Dudes Chick

[jodie_foster_02.jpg]She prides herself on being one of the guys. Before meeting you most of her friends were guys, and after meeting you, her circle has expanded to your male friends as well. She watches football, guzzles beer, checks out other women, and has a fierce competitive spirit. She’s the eternal tomboy. Hanging with her is so easy because there’s the element of friendship plus attraction. Hopefully, right? If she’s so busy burping the alphabet, you may wistfully want to see a more feminine side that may hardly surface. The good thing about dating her is you don’t have to censor yourself in her presence. She doesn’t get grossed out or offended when you fart. The bad thing about dating her is that you may not want her at every guy-gathering. If she’s always crashing your bro-bonding, you may grow to resent it.

The Commitment-Free Chick

You will automatically label her as hard to get. She lives her life to the fullest, travels, works, has a busy schedule, and somehow manages to fit you on her blackberry calendar. Your dates consist of 11pm rendezvous’ at a wine bar, strategically located between her job and apartment. She’ll tell you she doesn’t want a commitment. She’ll tell you there is too much going on in her life. She’ll tell you she’s a free spirit. Do notfall in this trap. Repeat. Twice. You’ll soon discover she eventually wants to settle down but doesn’t want you crowding her space initially. The wonderful thing about dating her is that, you can date other women and not feel guilty about it! The difficult thing about dating her is that , you may want to commit, or may want someone a little more involved in your life, rather than sporadic dates here and there.

The Foreign Chick

[shakira.jpg]Thank goodness for globalization. Or airplanes for that matter.  Your Brazilian, French or Australian girl is incredibly sexy, the way she rolls her r’s is hypnotizing. But it’s also the different culture and perspective that makes you appreciate her. You always feel exotic and relaxed as if you’re on vacation around her. She may have moved to U.S. soil for school, a Victoria’s Secret job or maybe you found her on Facebook. You realize history lessons would have been a lot more interesting in high school if they brought in natives from other countries to teach. Your friends are all jealous. What you need to control, though, is your competitive urge to find out what her male counterparts look like.  The great thing about dating her is how much worldly exposure you’ve gained from her. You start watching futbol even when it’s not World Cup season. The not-so-great thing about dating her is that she might not get some of the cultural references if there’s a language barrier. She might also want to go back to her mother-land, leaving you girlfriend-less.

The Eternal-Student Chick

[clueless4a.JPG]You met her at college. You were just friends. You both graduated. You got a job. She got a masters degree. You got a second job. She got a PhD. This woman has yet to face the real world because she’s nestled in the world of academia. You kept bumping into each other at local bars, until you figured out it was fated to date. She makes you miss school, if only because it means not dealing with a psychotic boss and working long hours nuking your stale coffee. She also restores your youth by keeping you in the loop with what kids are doing nowadays. It doesn’t hurt that you secretly admire how cerebral she is. You’ll love dating her because you’re automatically smarter because of it. She has a more flexible schedule than you and thus can be very spontaneous. You’ll hate dating her because she won’t have any money, will complain incessantly about professors and occasionally check out the guys on campus.

The Damsel-in-Distress Chick

[jayma.gif]This cute lady is sensitive and has a low shock tolerance. You met her by rescuing her puppy from becoming road kill, or carrying her groceries on a cold Sunday morning. You’re drawn to how cute and helpless she is. She’ll make you feel like a hero, which comes in handy when other areas of life seem to tell you you’re not. You’re good at being protective, and this chick will always give you new material. The warm and fuzzy thing about her is that she really is endearing and will bake you cookies just because it’s Wednesday.  Just thinking about her brings a smile to your face. The annoying thing about her neediness and lack of self- sufficiency, is that the woe-is-me act gets old, fast.

The Sex-Maniac Chick

[Carmen-Electra-2.jpg]You know what they say about saving the best for last. Everyone should date her at one point or another. She’s not afraid of her sexuality and more so not afraid to take you along for the ride (ha). She wants to do it in the coat check room, on the train, any where at least 1.5 people can fit. No fantasy is too kinky for her to fullfill. She’ll never complain about her butt being too big or her hair frizzing; she’s completely comfortable in her skin. The awesome thing about dating her is self-explanatory. The only drawback is you might lack the energy to work, talk, walk, or function in any way. However, if she makes you a sandwich after a marathon, marry her.

Conclusion

If you’re in denial that your girlfriend is one of these women, she’s either a hybrid or a liar.  Regardless, it’s your discretion in dating that will allow you to be successful. Like a good suit, a woman that fits you well reflects your style, adds confidence and feels freeing. An ill-suited mate feels awkward, binding and forced.  At the very least, you’ll learn about yourself in the process and it will allow you to reflect about what you bring to the table. Until then, enjoy yourself and hopefully you’re getting as much action as your credit card.

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مصر إيه غير “فيلم ثقافي” لكل شاب مصري، و تحرش جنسي بكل شابة مصرية

The following words were tweeted today by @ANaje, I had to consolidate and repost them. Enjoy.

،مصر ايه غير مبارك وشوية زبالة ودخان قاهري ملوث
،مصر أيه غير ابو تريكة بيعمل اورل سكس مع عمرو خالد
،مصر أيه غير راقصة برتغالية بترقص في مطعم مكسيم
،مصر أيه غير قذفة منوية من زبر الشاعر ألفونسو، وجزء من صدر شيرين، وضربة جيتار من تامر حسنى
،مصر أيه غير شوية مدونات بتشتم في مبارك والحكومة، وتدعو للوحدة الوطنية
،مصر أيه غير عمرو ذكى بيطبع قبلة على جبين الحضرى، ومشجع زملكاوى بيتحرق
،مصر ايه غير مرتضى منصور يلعب البوكر بيد وبالثانية يطلق النار
،مصر أيه غير نيل معفن مليان جثث حيوانات ميتة
،مصر ايه غير سيقان علاء غانم المسلوخة و بزاز غادة عبد الرازق المدلدلة
،مصر ايه غير جرايد معارضة بتنشر صور واخبار مبارك اكتر من الجرايد القومية
،مصر ايه غير فيلم بيخرجه خالد يوسف ويمنتجه محمد عواض
،مصر ايه غير قصيدة بضان لفاروق شوشة، وقصيدة ابضن لعبد الرحمن الابنودى
.مصر ايه غير ريحة السجاد المعفن في مسجد الحسين

By Dina Wahba

This is a post that I came across that for some reason reminded me of this video, and boy do I feel the same about Egypt, a country that now embraces the ban of Christian players from its national soccer team & threatens modern-jihad against its minorities.  I decided to repost the aforementioned post without the permission of the writer. The beauty of the internets! Here is the original post . . .

Egypt is becoming increasingly unrecognizable to me! I no longer know what to expect from my surrounding environment..I haven’t been writing for a while but at this point I had to.. the whole point of this note is to share some incidents I have been witnessing..I don’t mean to judge or condemn in anyway I just don’t know what to make of all of this..I apologize to the people I quote in this note (I won’t mention names) but I hope they don’t find it offensive in any way

Incident no. 1:

I realized that lma bamshy f el share3 m3a so7aby w netshetem mab2enash 7ata nest3’rab we just move on 3ady gedan! What happened lately (w mkntsh awel mara) I was walking with my friend w wa7ed shab 3ady gedan rakeb 3arbya (y3ny msh 3amel wla bawab) tele3 2aly “RABENA YA7’ODKO YARAB”!!!

Incident no. 2:

A conversation with some of my friends:

Guy one: Y3ny ento b2a 7aseen en ento motahdeen maslan ”with a sarcastic tone”?

Me: La2 7’ales..bas bamshy fe el share3 el regala bted3y 3lya!

Guy two: maho msh m3nah en e7na bned3y 3la 7ad yeb2a eny deh 3’altet el ragel..tab ma7na bnd3y 3la Israel!!!

Me: HOA ANA BA2ET ISRAEL!!!!!

Girl one: tab hoa enty konty labsa eh? 7aga cut y3ny aw keda?

Me: LA2A! w 7ata law ana labsa cut astahel eny 7ad yed3y 3lya f el share3!!! Bas 3mtan ana mesh mothda wla 7aga w wa7’da 7o2oy kolha

A friend’s status:

Bottom of Form

“واحد سائق قال لى مبقاش راجل لو سبتك تعدى بعربيتك الأول ممكن حد يشرحلى الرجولة هنا ؟””

Incident no. 3:

I was sitting in City Stars.. two foreigners were sitting in the table across mine..a guy and his girlfriend..the guy sat beside his girlfriend and started holding her and maybe they kissed, I am not sure I didn’t really look I saw this with the corner of my eye keda.. then suddenly the waiter comes to them and say a very loud “EXECUSE ME!” ana masm3tsh el ba2y but I saw the guy very politely bey2oum mn gamb sa7beto!!! Hoa law kano masryeen kan momken atfham bas hoa e7na 7ata bn3mel keda m3a el aganeb 7’alas!!! We cannot tolerate such acts 7’alas!! Hmmm

Melody tat7ada 2elet el 2adab!!!

أسست سلطات الأمن المصرية مطلع الشهر الماضي، قسماً جديداً لتعقب الناشطين السياسيين على الموقع الاجتماعي الشهير ‘فيسبوك’، ومواجهة انتشار المجموعات على المواقع المناهضة للحكومة والحزب ‘الوطني الديمقراطي’ الحاكم والرئيس حسني مبارك ونجله جمال.ويستهدف القسم الجديد، الذي يتبع إدارة مراقبة الإنترنت في وزارة الداخلية، رصد ما يدور في هذه المجموعات بدقة ولحظة بلحظة.

Incident no. 4:

Girl one: Nas keteer awy fatra ramdan dah “disgusted”

Me: El seyam dah 7aga maben el wa7ed w maben rabena

Girl one: y3ny eh beno w ben rabena?! Dah rokn mn arkan el islam!!!

Me: hoa ana 2olt 7aga bas we7na malna kol wa7ed 7or

Girl one: we7na malna ezay?! Akeed 7aga tez3al w b3den makanosh b2a 2alo el mortad 3n el den lazem yet2etel

Me:!!!!!!

Incident no. 5:

I was tagged in a note entitled  للمسلم وحبيبته المسيحيه والعكس… بطلوا استهبال انتوا الاتنين وكفايه غلط لحد كده

Incident no. 6:

Girl one: ana 3ayza a3ml dental braces bas my dad mesh rady 3ashan law galy 3arees

I have A LOT more from what I see and hear and read about everyday and maybe you won’t be surprised as I am and maybe it’s only me bas I’ve been feeling lately that I am living in مصر التي لا أعرفها